For this week’s Family Ministries feature, Willie and Elaine Oliver discuss why a balance of commitments can keep marriages happy and satisfying.
Marriage is one of the most wonderful gifts that God has given to humankind, to be sure, to be in a happy marriage there are important ingredients that one needs to be mindful of, one of those ingredients is commitment. According to research by Dr. Scott Stanley from the University of Denver, there are two types of commitment that we need to be mindful of. Dedication commitment and constrained commitment, the two need to be in a healthy tension to have a great marriage.
When we talk about dedication commitment, we are talking about how much one is willing to invest in their relationship to make it great, to make it happy and satisfying. It is sort of like you when you nurture something that you love to do and you put your all into it, that is dedication. Constraint on the other hand is those things that keep us stable in the relationship – sort of something like the fact that we made a commitment before God, before our friends, before our community when we took our marriage vows. Sometimes we might say that our children are also a constraint but in a healthy way so there needs to be a healthy balance between constraint and dedication if we want to have a happy and satisfying marriage.
The reality is we want to have a happy marriage because when we are happy, our children are happy, the community is happy, the church is happy and we can give honor and glory to God.